Correction
Ok, so I guess I don't know what passive agressive means. I just looked it up online and it is a disorder. I want to ammend my previous post. I don't think I have a clinical personality disorder (which apparently is what passive-aggressive is). I just don't come out and say what is bothering me, but you can tell by my behavior that I'm bothered. What would you call that?
posted by Melissa @ 12:30 PM
3 comments
3 Comments:
fear of people rather than fear of God (that's a billy williams comment, i didn't come up with it). Fear of what people will think of us rather than fear of how God would want us to handle a situation is what keeps our mouths closed sometimes. I just caught up with your blog today. It's so exciting to see what you're learning! And it seems that you're still getting to spend time doing fun things outside even though you're in a city. LT in orlando is awesome, though a challenge. You're still in my thoughts and prayers even though i haven't checked up on your blog for a while. Hope your arms/elbow feel better soon, and that you will have even more amazing stories of God's work in the land of the living to share. Miss you!
Melissa and Greta- good stuff! I miss you both.
Hmmm... I'm sure they have every personality flaw listed as a "disorder", but I think passive aggressive can describe a person's personality who does not have a disorder. The people I know who I would categorize as this try to get you to do something without directly coming out and asking you. Like instead of saying, "Can I have a drink?" they would sit around and say "wow, I am thirsty... what type of glasses do you have...I really like Hawaiian Punch...have you had Hawaiian Punch?" Of course this is oversimplified.
As far as being annoyed at someone...I think I am learning as a Christian that the problem with "being annoyed" is the problem of the person feeling annoyed rather than the person who is doing the thing that is perceived as being annoying. What about the verses about being longsuffering towards one another? However, if a brother in Christ is sinning- like if I was rude to you, I would hope you would confront me on it. Being "annoyed" at a sin I don't think is being "annoyed".
The other aspect is showing eachother love- remember in the self confrontation manual- love means that someone doesn't push their agenda, love means that you do what other's want, love means you do not forcefully communicate with someone... if we really did love eachother and were totally about the other person instead of pushing what we want 80% of conflicts would never happen.
So do I think you are passive aggressive? No. You are generally clear on what your opinion is and your desires. You are however longsuffering when others hurt you, which I think is Christ-like. Could you more readily confront others when they sin (along with exhorting others to good works)? Probably- and I'm sure you would do it with love. If someone is always pushing their agenda on you and pushing what they want, it would be appropriate to confront them on it.
It is dangerous when we start passing off sin as part of our personalities. The Holy Spirit has the power to change personalitites to shape them to be more Christ-like.
One last thing- insecurity in dealing with others is often due to focus on self- instead of thinking how we can be a blessing to other people, how we can encourage them and serve them, we are so caught up in how they perceive us... at least that is what I find freeing about living in Christ...I enjoy people more because I'm less concerned about what they think of me.
Wow girls. I really miss you. Really good stuff. I think I'll need to read your comments a few more times along with my post to fully take it all in.
Thank you so much for your feed back. I love you and miss you both.
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